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A Bad Case of the Gimmes

By Cindy Hostetler

When a person begins to believe deeply in a new story,
changes may not happen overnight. In fact, many times
the stories aren’t even challenged until a new season of life comes along and uncovers what we truly believe. This is what happened to me.

After a few years of trying and many years of desiring a baby, a plus sign appeared on the pregnancy test. I conceived a month after the sudden death of my father and it made it hard to discern whether I was grieving for dad, rejoicing over the baby or whether it was just my hormones. Regardless, it was definitely the start of a new season.

Everything started changing. We moved unexpectedly from our apartment in August. Stuff went to storage and we lived with families from week to week waiting for a specific house to open up. It was an ideal opportunity that we thought was an ideal gift from the Lord so we waited, and waited until it fell through in November.

I had a meltdown. I was due in December! My stuff was in storage, I had been wearing the same but now tight fitting clothes for what seemed like eternity. I missed my bed, my blankets, my things, my privacy. Nothing was mine that I could rearrange or organize.

In the midst of my meltdown, the Lord gently reminded me that what He had been providing was enough. He was trustworthy and good and all my needs had been provided for. I had food, clothes, shelter, good health and an incredible community of people around me. I knew this to be true, but I forgot. I was infected with a bad case of the “Gimmes.”

Gimme…. my very own nursery, a crib with swank bedding, pretty monogrammed walls, a rocking chair, a changing table with baskets for all the baby’s things. I wanted the American Dream Baby Experience. I had been coveting all the things that other soon-to-be moms were posting on Facebook that I didn’t have and wouldn’t be having during this season….and then it hit me, one story was conflicting with another.

The lesson was hard to swallow because it revealed my true heart condition. I believed I deserved all of these things! Oh how pieces of the old story can linger. I did some yelling, cursing, repenting and confessing as I worked this out with the Father. It took a bit but I finally came to a place of understanding and gratefulness.

I do have everything I need and He has been and will continue to be faithful. I believe in a much grander story and the American Dream isn’t in it. It’s much simpler. Like a little bird He takes care of me, providing what I need, not always what I want. And when those ugly “Gimmes” surface, I put them in their place- in the trash, not in my heart.